Trust and Being Physical
March 24, 2009
We all want to make sure that Rover is not afraid of our hands. We want him to trust us. We use our hands to love and pet Rover but are we also using them to take away his ability to make decisions? Getting “physical” does not just mean smacking Rover but it is anytime we “physically” make him either do something or not do something.
Rover is outside playing and we want him to come in. We call him but he doesn’t come, so we go out grab his collar and drag him inside. We just got physical. We violated his trust. The next time we call him he might come within arms reach and then bolt away.
The door bell rings and Rover rushes to the door; we know he’ll either bolt out the door or jump all over our guest so we grab him. We just got physical. The next time he might bark or even growl when the doorbell rings.
We have to go out. We need to get Rover in his crate. We don’t have time to entice him so we drag him over and put him in the crate. What did we do? We got physical and violated his trust. The next time he might hide under the bed when he’s told to get in his crate.
Rover doesn’t understand when we get physical and he certainly isn’t learning anything other than hands make him do things he doesn’t want to do. Often times if we “force” Rover he starts to avoid our hands. We think he’s playing an annoying game, but he’s telling us, in his way, that he doesn’t trust our hands.
Anytime we jowl, grab, drag, pull, scruff, pick up or hit Rover we get physical and usually that action takes away his ability to make decisions. It always violates his trust. How would you feel if someone grabbed you every time the phone rang or pushed you into the car every time you had to go somewhere or smacked you as you greeted anyone? Would you start to resist?
There are ways to get Rover to do what we want without getting physical. We were at a client’s home and their dog didn’t like going into the bathroom to take a bath. She was happy bathing, but getting into the bathroom was a problem. Why? The owners had met resistance and overcame it by dragging the dog in there. So when the owners went in the bathroom, the dog would go the other way. We showed them how to get their dog in the bathroom without using their hands at all. It did take a little while, that time. Once the dog got there she got lots of love and praise. The next time was easier.
We were at another client’s home and getting the pup in the crate was an issue. The pup would run and hide anywhere it could to avoid going into the crate. Why? His owner was picking the pup up and forcing him into his crate. He was happy in the crate, but wouldn’t go on his own. We worked on getting the pup into the crate without using hands. Again it took a while the first time, but it got easier. The pup got lots of praise and love when it went in on its own.
If Rover did something wrong and we call him to us and then punish him we violate his trust. The next time we call him he’ll think twice about coming. No matter what he’s done, it’s important that he ONLY receive love and praise for coming to us. No matter how mad we are.
It’s important that our dogs trust us. With trust comes responsibility, just like with people. If we are Rover’s leader and don’t violate his trust it’s easy to get him to do what we want. If we violate his trust by forcing him to do things it becomes much harder. Rover wants to please us but he needs to trust us. If we use our hands ONLY for loving and praising and never for forcing or punishing, we will have taken a big step towards having a happy, trusting dog, and we all know what the result of a happy dog is. Just in case you forgot,
Happy Dogs = Happy Families.